I hate being a drama llama, I really do
But I’m at a point where I’m really beginning to evaluate my sense of self worth. (Please, please, please do not interpret this as a plea for complements or whatever – the last thing in the world I want right now is false assurances.)
I came to grips some time ago with the fact that my youthful ego hid a deep insecurity, but I have never been quite sure from where that insecurity sprang. I’ve certainly never been afraid of failure; I’ve experienced it too many times and have tried to teach myself how to apply those lessons. What I’ve come to realize is that I’m insecure about my very value as a person. I simply don’t know what I mean.
There are certain things about myself I really cannot stand. I cannot conquer these things – some of which I have tried pretty hard to – and that’s a soul-shaking kind of failure. What lesson do you apply from that, huh?
Do you just pick yourself up and “try harder?” How can I expect the people in my life to put up with that?
I am shaken.
My very sense of self is in question.
